Re-connect

I'm hosting a weekly discussion session to re-connect with our spiritual purpose. If you would like to participate, please, contact me and I'll give you all the details.

Here is this week topic: Re-Connect

“Why am I afraid to tell you who I am? I am afraid to tell you who I am, because, if I tell you who I am, you may not like who I am, and it's all that I have...”
― John Powell

We are born with the need to connect. When a baby is born, his interaction with the world makes him strive. We continue connecting with our parents, family, friends and later with colleagues and strangers. However, there are moments when we feel disconnected. The feeling of being different and unrelated from the rest of the world takes away our power.

According to Brene Brown, shame is a fear of disconnection. The fear of being perceived as flawed and unworthy of acceptance or belonging. Shame keeps us from telling our own stories and prevents us from listening to others tell their stories. We silence our voices and keep our secrets out of the fear of disconnection. We are wired for connection.

Our need for connection is about survival; this is one of our most basic needs. Babies that are not touched or held don't thrive. Everyone is longing for connection and by being available, we connect to the world.

We say we are aware of the importance of connection, but nowadays, real connection seems increasingly difficult. People seem to be connected all the time to different gadgets that are supposed to increase connection but keep contact to a minimum level.

However, we are also afraid of connection. Probably because if I let you catch just a glimpse of my entire being, you won't know who I am and I won't disappoint you. It seems contradictory that nowadays, when more means of communication are available, we are even more disconnected. Disconnection, or at least a selective connection is the way we cope with the anxiety or fear of rejection. We see now people twitting or blogging about every single activity they do through the day.

We seem to be longing for real connection.

The first step to re-connect with other people is to re-connect with myself. I need to be aware of my thoughts, feelings, needs, fears and desires to be able to connect with someone else.

Then, I need to see the other person. I need to understand that she has different thoughts, feelings, needs, fears and desires. The Zulu greeting, "Sawubona" means "I see you" and the response "Ngikhona" means "I am here".

Inherent in the Zulu greeting and our grateful response, is the sense that until you saw me, I didn't exist. By recognizing me, you brought me into existence. A Zulu folk saying clarifies this, "Umuntu ngumuntu nagabantu", meaning "A person is a person because of other people".

To connect with someone else means to understand, accept and respect the other person. This is easier said than done. When we realize everyone is different, we may either accept the other person or reject her. If we want to connect we need to develop empathy.

Empathy is the capacity to recognize and, to some extent, share feelings (such as sadness or happiness) that are being experienced by another sentient or semi-sentient being.

Dalai Lama suggests to approach others with compassion. Empathy is an important factor for compasion. The ability to appreciate another's suffering. When dealing with others at any level, if you are having some difficulties, its extremely helpful to be able to try to put yoursel fin the other person'as place and see how you would react to the situation. Temporarily suspend your point of view.

Self Portrait by David Whyte

It doesn't interest me if there is one God
or many gods.
I want to know if you belong
or feel abandoned.
If you can know despair or see it in others
If you are prepared to live in the world
with its harsh need to change you,
If you can look back with firm eyes saying
"This is where I stand."

I want to know if you know how to melt
into that fierce heat of living
falling toward the center of your longing
If you are willing to live day by day
with the consequence of love and the bitter unwanted passion
of your sure defeat.
I have heard in that fierce embrace
even the gods speak of God.

Practice:

CS Lewis says: You dont have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.

Remind of yourself we are all human beings. We all have a contract with each other. There are no friends or enemies, just teachers.

Some time ago, I found this exercise online:
"One must not do this breathing exercise mechanically. This has to be done with the awareness of what it really brings you.

"First do three inhalations and exhalations with consciousness, i.e. inhale Light and exhale any shadow which still dwells within you. Do this three times.

"Then with a large deep inhalation, inhale Love. Hold your breath as much as possible to conserve the Energy of Love you have integrated, then exhale anything within you which is not Love. Do this three times as well.

"Thus, three times, you do three small inhalations and exhalations where you inhale Light and exhale all the shadow which still dwells within you, as well as three deep inhalations and exhalations where you retain Universal Love and exhale anything within you which is not Love.

"Do this exercise with awareness because it will have no value if you do it while breathing normally."



2. Connection with the Divine Self :

Connecting Oneself with the Divine Self
"Visualize your body of matter. Try to see your face, as if you were seeing yourself from an external projection, as if you were facing yourself. First mentally, say to your body that you love it. Utter your first name and say: 'I love you'.

"Then visualize within yourself a white room that is extremely luminous. The room is totally luminous although there are no doors and there are no windows. Inside of the room you will find someone who is sitting and waiting for you. This being is the Divine within you, he is the being who holds absolute power. Your consciousness is facing him and you will ask him for his help. Ask him to regenerate your body, to restore energy to any parts that are deficient. Still facing the wonderful being, remind yourself that your human consciousness is next to the Divine Being who is within you.

"You will now see emanating from yourself, from the Divine Child, a magnificent golden radiation. This golden radiation, this immense love will spread through your physical body, and your energetic bodies as well. This Love will permeate all your cells and absorb any vibratory frequencies which are too low.

"You may have a sense of being double, the experience of being both inside and outside your body, being yourself and something else. You may feel a gentle heat spreading through your body, an energy of Love which transforms anything. Try to keep your consciousness within yourself facing your Divinity, as long as possible.

"This exercise allows connection, connection between human being and Divine Being, vibratory harmonization, recognition.

"Say to the Divine within you, to this magnificent presence, how much you love him, thank him for regenerating your body and tell him that you will visit him back in your meditations to commune together in a mutual experience of love. Tell him, as well, how much you trust his immense power of Love and his potential to transform your physical body and your consciousness. He can act on all levels, whether they be physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual extending beyond the limits of time and space.

"Now put your consciousness back in front of you. If you cannot see it in front of you, try to visualize it. Once again, say that you love yourself by mentally uttering your first name followed by the words: ‘I love you'. "

A final word on connection:

An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break. -Ancient Chinese Belief